In the excitement of this reunion, I've been able to share my news with many of my friends and family.
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"I've found my biological father! And I have three siblings!" <-- That's me, very excited.
Most common response, "Wow! Are they full or half siblings?"
My interior dialogue, That's the first question? Really? Out of, 'how did you find him?' or 'what are they like?' or just about a million more interesting questions...
Me, stunned "Ummm, half I guess."
Their reply, "Half eh? Well, that's still really something."
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If you're one of those people that asked me that question, don't feel too badly. After all, it wasn't just you. I think I've been asked that about a dozen times. Including yesterday, which is what brought this post to the forefront.
It amazes me that could be the most important question in someone's mind.
For me, when I discovered I had siblings, all I could think was, Thank you God! I have a brother and two sisters... how much more blessed could I be? I wasn't thinking about 'half' or 'step' or whatever. That is so inconsequential for an adoptee. It really is. When you are raised with an adopted family, no one in your life shares any biological relationship with you. Not even 10%. It's a miracle to find a biological parent (and they're only 1/2 of your DNA FYI). How much greater to also find a brother (who is an amazing, mature soul) and two sisters (one who shares much of my personality and the other I've called effervescent... both are treasures).
Half or full, doesn't matter in my mind. In my new family, three halves have made me whole.
I just found my biological father and added another whole family into my life. Journey with us as we build a relationship.
*Make sure you read oldest to newest, it makes more sense that way. I've changed or may withhold some names and places to protect the privacy of the ones I love.
"Half or full, doesn't matter in my mind. In my new family, three halves have made me whole."
ReplyDeleteLove,love, love that!!! I sent this to my son, who not only found me, he also found a sister and two brothers.
I strongly dislike the "half" qualifier also. They are simply brothers and sister...
@Susie Thank you! I'm glad you liked it; and that you understand. I know that people don't say that to be hurtful, they just have no idea!
ReplyDeletePeople do ask funny questions. When I met my birth family, and met all of the extended family, nobody in my adopted family asked to see pictures, or wanted to know about things. My sister, still to this day, has never asked to see pictures. I would have wanted to know every single detail if our roles were reversed. I do have a full brother, and that was the most bothersome issue to my sister. That I had a sibling that looked like me, and she did not. Before they found me, it was just the two of us. My sister was not adopted. I never really thought of that angle.
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