Secret Fears

Email to Haley, from Linda; March 23, 2011

Haley,

Does the Focus 3 Bible Course end in June? Sounds amazing. When you lead a Bible Study, do you host it in your home? In the church? (...) Thanks for the link to your church. I am listening to a sermon by one of your pastors right now. He is also doing a PowerPoint presentation. Do you help him with that? This sermon is wonderful! He has a real love for the Lord doesn’t he?

(...) At 28 years old I had a conversion...2 years after our marriage. I learned all about the love of Jesus and His Divine Mercy. I suspect all of Heaven celebrated the day I finally accepted Him! It’s quite a beautiful story...one which I will share with you face to face.

Thanks for the pic of your parents! (...)

I can only pray that the kids will all find godly spouses. How happy I am that your marriage is built upon Jesus. You are so blessed and Nick is just as blessed to have a godly wife!

OK enough for now! I’ll call you tomorrow.

In Christ,

Linda

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Email to Linda, from Haley; March 23, 2011

Hi Linda,

Our Focus 3 course runs from September to the end of May. It wraps up with "High Adventure Camp" where our group (there's 14 of us, including our senior pastor and his wife) goes white water rafting, high ropes course, horseback riding, etc. It's kind of like teambuilding. I'm very excited about it! It sounds scary and my goal is to try everything! It's been a very meaningful year together so far. Like I said, we write our 'stories' and then we actually share them with the group. It's been so cool to share everything, dark times and all, and still be loved and accepted. They've been praying for us as we reunite, and they were thrilled to hear about you and know that your family is Christian. They're my other family :)

When we lead our small group, we took turns hosting. Often it was here, but other couples took their turn too. We'd meet every other Sunday night and always start with dinner first. It's a great way to get to know people!

My favourite Bible studies have all been by Beth Moore. Have you done any of those? They're ladies Bible studies with a dvd and a workbook with lots of homework!

I can't wait to hear your faith story. I love how God uses different things in each of our lives to draw us closer to Him. Tonight I'm volunteering on our Healing Prayer Ministry team. It's amazing to be a part of, I'll have to tell you about it some time. It's been a huge part of my faith story too :)

Yes I do all the PowerPoint for our pastors (I actually build it in Keynote - Mac software). I love doing that! It's so fun.

Well, I gotta run to my appointment! I look forward to our chat tomorrow!

Blessings,

Haley

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All the while, when Linda and I are emailing happy, hope-filled emails to each other...we were both having major anxiety. I'm panicking that she won't want to add another daughter; she's worried that I don't want another mother.

Here's the thing I've learned in the last few years. We have an enemy, and he is not really impressed when God's plans are moving ahead. So he tries to interfere, and he attacks us in ways that will steal our joy. But I've also learned that he doesn't have original ideas. He was putting the same fears into both of our minds.

And we agreed to talk on the phone. To each other. While we're both secretly panicking. I can't wait to show you how it turns out! Tomorrow's post is going to be worth getting up early for :)

A city on a hill

Email to Haley, from Linda; March 23, 2011

Dear Haley,

I too wear my heart on sleeve!

We would love to have you come to Mass with us. Initially, when the plan was that you would come on Easter, Daniel wondered which church you would go to. Our piano teacher is Baptist so we thought we would ask her the service times etc. Most people wear casual wear, jeans etc. The girls and I wear dresses (but that is not unusual for me since I mainly only wear skirts). Do you and Nick go to Bible Study? Is Nick's Dad a Baptist minister? (...) Whew, so many questions :)

I will call you on Thursday evening. Over time, phone calls will be a piece of cake. (...)

Haley, would you be able to send us a picture of your parents? I would love to know what they look like (I am a very visual person). When I saw the pics of you, my heart melted. The one where you are wearing your graduation gown seemed to tell me that you were a gentle, loving soul!

Hope you have a great day!

Blessings,
Linda
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Email to Linda, from Haley; March 23, 2011

Hi Linda,

I think I've only been to Mass once or twice. I went in Jasper one time when we were there on a family trip. It was a world religions class assignment! It was different than what I'm used to :) I remember being confused about when to stand, sit, what to say/sing...I needed someone to show me!

Nick and I do attend a Bible study. We go every Tuesday night, and we really enjoy it. We led a Bible study group ourselves for a few years (we call them small groups). This year we're doing a program called Focus 3, and it's a leadership development Bible study course. One of our assignments was to write our life story and see where God's hand has been on each aspect of our lives. Writing that was what actually led me to decided to search for Kevin.

Yes Nick's dad is a Baptist pastor. Nick grew up very Baptist. (...) I'm not too concerned about denominations. I'm more concerned with people actually finding out who Jesus is and wanting a personal relationship with Him. In my opinion, no church has sole claim on that.

This picture of my parents is from last May; we went to visit them for their 40th wedding anniversary.

I look forward to your call!

Blessings,

Haley

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So strange talking about faith and church via email. It's not usually something I talk about with, for all intents and purposes, strangers. Amazingly, it's not as awkward as I thought it would be. Faith is a huge part of my life, and obviously of Linda's as well. Glad that isn't going to be a stumbling point for us.

Sending her a picture of my parents...now that was a delicate decision. It's not like I think my parents will be running into them at the supermarket; they do live about four hours apart. It still felt like I was giving up some sacred information. I certainly considered declining Linda's request. I can't put my finger on why it made me uncomfortable. In the end, I decided it would be more honouring to my parents to share their photo, than to hide them away. Just as I choose to keep my city on a hill and reveal my faith in Jesus, I will share my parents with Linda. I know it's only a photo...but somehow it represents more than that.

Four Fathers & Four Mothers?

First, please forgive the delay in this post. Blogger has had some issues lately, and therefore deleted my current drafts. Drat. So I have a bit of re-writing to do...thus the late post.

I'd like to introduce you to someone who has become very special in my life. I already told you that Google failed to answer what her title is...and biological father's wife is kind of stilting, not to mention somehow unflattering.

I suppose I have four Mother figures in my life now:

1. My Real Mom - she's the most amazing mother, I love her dearly. No 'adoptive' mom qualifier needed here.
2. Mom-in-Law - I'm so blessed to be able to call her Mom too, she is a fabulous mother-in-law. Seriously, they do exist!
3. Biological Mother, Camille. What can I say, I'm happy to be on planet earth! I'm thankful for the life she chose to give me.
4. Linda (Kevin's wife) She is, well... read for yourself:

Email to Haley, from Linda; March 15, 2011

Dear Haley,

Firstly, I want to start by telling you...welcome!

Secondly, I want to thank you for the e-mail that you sent to us. It was beautiful! I hope you won’t be too disappointed, but we won’t share it with the kids just yet. We will share it with them in a few days (maybe weeks?). Less than 48 hours ago they didn’t even know you existed. We want them to be settled with the information first and then I will pass your e-mail on to them. (...)

Now for me...since Kevin told me that you had contacted him, I have experienced every emotion possible...fear, joy, anxiety, apprehension, relief, excitement, and even resentment. Emotions are emotions and I don’t want to become too caught up in them. It’s our “will” to do the right thing; the Godly thing. All that matters to me is that I do God’s Will and it is quite obvious to me that God’s Will is that we accept you and Nick into our lives! So I have and I will, without reservation!

Thirdly, faith is very important to me too! Imagine my initial relief when I saw you sign your e-mails with “Blessings”. I also suspected that you were a Christian when I discovered that you married so young. (I’m quite sure that only souls concerned about chastity do so in this day and age! ) The children and I have a strong faith in God. We have home-schooled them since the beginning so it has been easy to instill Christian morals and ideals. They certainly are not perfect (nor am I!) but they are pretty good kids. I think you will care for them a great deal over time.

Finally, I will talk face to face (kind of) to you on Saturday (if that works for you?) with Kevin. I truly look forward to getting to know you better. You sound like an amazing young lady and I am sure your parents are so proud of you! You’ll love meeting the entire extended family too and they are sure to share that love meeting you.

Bye for now.

In Christ,
Linda
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I was afraid Linda would reject me. That she would discount my presence, as I am not her child. Perhaps somehow she would prevent Kevin from contacting me so her family could maintain the status quo.

The tears of relief that were shed reading this email! I can't express how grateful I am. She is welcoming, gracious, candid...and even includes my parents. She's a Christian! Could God have made this any better? I don't think so. It's so good.

I reached the end of Linda's email and I knew I could love her.

The Big Reveal

Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 9, 2011

21 years at the same company! That's amazing!

Well my work history will reveal a very important part of my life. So I guess it's my turn to share that!

I took my BA in Psychology. I was a development coordinator for a local shelter about 2 years (some part time while finishing my degree). Then I was hired by a Christian organization (that puts on a huge annual conference in Edmonton) as an admin assistant and worked there for 2.5 years.

My current job is office administrator at my home church. I started here in February 2009 after being "recruited" by one of our pastors. I love my job. I get to do a bit of IT, a bit of web design, I have 3 staff to supervise and I love my co-workers. It's a great fit for me.

Faith is very important to me, so I do my best to live a life that demonstrates how grateful I am for each day.

I hope that sharing this with you isn't a scary thing. I'm not in a cult, and I don't hit people with my Bible. I just try and follow what Jesus taught, and I definitely stumble often.

I'm thankful to have found you. I've always wondered what you were like. It's a funny thing, being adopted, you're grateful for your life, your adopted family, but there's always the little question marks in the back of your mind...wondering if there's someome else out there with your eyes, your smile, your height! I'm 5'9" and I sure didn't get that from Camille!

Blessings, Haley

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Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 10, 2011

Not scary for me Haley, we are Catholic, though my wife Linda calls me a buffet Catholic..

I am happy for you that you're in a role and job you really like that is a great fit. It's so common for people to get into roles they don't like or hate then get bitter over time. Not good; there are enough hard things we deal with without getting caught in a job you can't stand.

I'm 5'11 (and a little...I need all I can get!), and am pretty fair, though I would say I have a sister who seems to share some of your features. I am the youngest of seven kids, big family!

Kevin
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*Breathe big sigh of relief.* The Christian thing was part of the deal-breaker last time around (during my brief reunion with Camille), so I was a bit reluctant to share this time. It's hard to hide something like that when it's a part of your identity. Who I am is found in Christ.

Hmmm. Buffet Catholic. What. is. that.

I really don't know much about Catholicism but I don't think that's an official "denomination" per se.