In the excitement of this reunion, I've been able to share my news with many of my friends and family.
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"I've found my biological father! And I have three siblings!" <-- That's me, very excited.
Most common response, "Wow! Are they full or half siblings?"
My interior dialogue, That's the first question? Really? Out of, 'how did you find him?' or 'what are they like?' or just about a million more interesting questions...
Me, stunned "Ummm, half I guess."
Their reply, "Half eh? Well, that's still really something."
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If you're one of those people that asked me that question, don't feel too badly. After all, it wasn't just you. I think I've been asked that about a dozen times. Including yesterday, which is what brought this post to the forefront.
It amazes me that could be the most important question in someone's mind.
For me, when I discovered I had siblings, all I could think was, Thank you God! I have a brother and two sisters... how much more blessed could I be? I wasn't thinking about 'half' or 'step' or whatever. That is so inconsequential for an adoptee. It really is. When you are raised with an adopted family, no one in your life shares any biological relationship with you. Not even 10%. It's a miracle to find a biological parent (and they're only 1/2 of your DNA FYI). How much greater to also find a brother (who is an amazing, mature soul) and two sisters (one who shares much of my personality and the other I've called effervescent... both are treasures).
Half or full, doesn't matter in my mind. In my new family, three halves have made me whole.
I just found my biological father and added another whole family into my life. Journey with us as we build a relationship.
*Make sure you read oldest to newest, it makes more sense that way. I've changed or may withhold some names and places to protect the privacy of the ones I love.
Showing posts with label Siblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Siblings. Show all posts
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
A city on a hill
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 23, 2011
I too wear my heart on sleeve!
We would love to have you come to Mass with us. Initially, when the plan was that you would come on Easter, Daniel wondered which church you would go to. Our piano teacher is Baptist so we thought we would ask her the service times etc. Most people wear casual wear, jeans etc. The girls and I wear dresses (but that is not unusual for me since I mainly only wear skirts). Do you and Nick go to Bible Study? Is Nick's Dad a Baptist minister? (...) Whew, so many questions :)
I will call you on Thursday evening. Over time, phone calls will be a piece of cake. (...)
Haley, would you be able to send us a picture of your parents? I would love to know what they look like (I am a very visual person). When I saw the pics of you, my heart melted. The one where you are wearing your graduation gown seemed to tell me that you were a gentle, loving soul!
Hope you have a great day!
Blessings,
Linda
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We would love to have you come to Mass with us. Initially, when the plan was that you would come on Easter, Daniel wondered which church you would go to. Our piano teacher is Baptist so we thought we would ask her the service times etc. Most people wear casual wear, jeans etc. The girls and I wear dresses (but that is not unusual for me since I mainly only wear skirts). Do you and Nick go to Bible Study? Is Nick's Dad a Baptist minister? (...) Whew, so many questions :)
I will call you on Thursday evening. Over time, phone calls will be a piece of cake. (...)
Haley, would you be able to send us a picture of your parents? I would love to know what they look like (I am a very visual person). When I saw the pics of you, my heart melted. The one where you are wearing your graduation gown seemed to tell me that you were a gentle, loving soul!
Hope you have a great day!
Blessings,
Linda
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Email to Linda, from Haley; March 23, 2011
I think I've only been to Mass once or twice. I went in Jasper one time when we were there on a family trip. It was a world religions class assignment! It was different than what I'm used to :) I remember being confused about when to stand, sit, what to say/sing...I needed someone to show me!
Nick and I do attend a Bible study. We go every Tuesday night, and we really enjoy it. We led a Bible study group ourselves for a few years (we call them small groups). This year we're doing a program called Focus 3, and it's a leadership development Bible study course. One of our assignments was to write our life story and see where God's hand has been on each aspect of our lives. Writing that was what actually led me to decided to search for Kevin.
Yes Nick's dad is a Baptist pastor. Nick grew up very Baptist. (...) I'm not too concerned about denominations. I'm more concerned with people actually finding out who Jesus is and wanting a personal relationship with Him. In my opinion, no church has sole claim on that.
This picture of my parents is from last May; we went to visit them for their 40th wedding anniversary.
I look forward to your call!
Blessings,
Haley
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So strange talking about faith and church via email. It's not usually something I talk about with, for all intents and purposes, strangers. Amazingly, it's not as awkward as I thought it would be. Faith is a huge part of my life, and obviously of Linda's as well. Glad that isn't going to be a stumbling point for us.
Sending her a picture of my parents...now that was a delicate decision. It's not like I think my parents will be running into them at the supermarket; they do live about four hours apart. It still felt like I was giving up some sacred information. I certainly considered declining Linda's request. I can't put my finger on why it made me uncomfortable. In the end, I decided it would be more honouring to my parents to share their photo, than to hide them away. Just as I choose to keep my city on a hill and reveal my faith in Jesus, I will share my parents with Linda. I know it's only a photo...but somehow it represents more than that.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Planning a Visit
I feel like I haven't written in so long that I forgot where I was in the story!
Quick re-set; had our first Skype call, I had a little meltdown, then Kevin and I talked on the phone and I calmed down a bit, Nick and I discussed and decided to do a visit.
Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 21, 2011
Hi Haley,
I enjoyed the call as well, it isn't often I don't have something to say, and at times I was at a loss for words!
Great to hear you're going to jump in and come visit, in my calendar the 16-17 is better, and Linda is going to check her outlook and let me know this morning, and I'll ph you this afternoon. (...)
I'm glad to hear you're doing better, e-mail is a double edged sword for sure, more time to think writing, more time to misinterpret reading! (...)
I'll talk to you later Haley, I know once the arrangements are made, the kids will be excited, and Sarah can begin prepping her long golden hair! (ha ha)
Kevin
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Kevin called me in the afternoon, and we tried to pick a weekend. Who knew it would be so complicated? There was Easter weekend in there, Nick and I already had plans to go to Invermere, another weekend we had volunteer commitments, I think Daniel had a scout camp one weekend, and Amy had a birthday date with her Mom another weekend. It looked like June would be the earliest date. *sigh* How on earth could I wait three more months?
Later that day, and after 3 or 4 calls we finally picked a date that was nearly perfect. Can you believe that my dear sister Amy willingly gave up a birthday night out with her Mom, just to meet me? What a treasure that girl is. She had already emailed me that she was going to a concert in Seattle by one of her favourite artists, and that it was going to be a special evening out, topped off with a night spent in a hotel! I knew she was really looking forward to it, and I didn't want to be associated with taking away a treat like that. But Amy was so gracious, and seemed to be more excited about meeting me than a night out. They still planned to attend the concert, but would only miss a few hours with Nick and I, not a whole day.
Just over 5 weeks from today, Nick and I will meet them all face-to-face! I don't want to sell him out here, but Kevin sounded so excited on the phone, it was kind of like talking to an eager child a few days before Christmas. I was also looking forward to a visit, but had enough anxiety to temper the excitement down to a more palatable level. I hope that didn't come across on the phone as ambivalence...
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
It's all about me.
When I started to share my story through this blog, I mistakenly thought it was all about me. I needed to write to process all my feelings, to keep them from swirling around in my head. Big life change, lengthy mental processing needed.
At the beginning of the reunion, I used up all my free time with my husband talking on and on about my new family. At dinner, on date night, during hockey games. Note to self: Don't talk to your husband during a hockey game unless your sentence has the word 'wings' or 'pizza', preceded by, "do you want more ______"? He's not interested in hearing about the latest email from my little sister when the game is in overtime. Trust me, that email was way more interesting that the overtime period.
My friends, surprisingly, were not all interested in every moment of my reunion tale. One even interrupted me in the middle of my story, and said, "oh no, I didn't mean I wanted to hear all of that, I just wanted to know it was going well." Oh. So you don't want me to ramble on for hours at a time? I listen to you talk about your kids for hours, I guess it doesn't go both ways.
I needed another outlet, and a blog seemed to be a good choice. It helped me untangle weeks of pent up thoughts and emotions. Unpacking story by story was incredibly helpful to my mental health.
I haven't felt the compulsion to write every day for a while; *spoiler warning* I do have a post saved up about Father's Day, but with the mail strike in Canada, I didn't want to post it until my Dad actually got his Father's Day card, since the post is all about choosing Father's Day cards.
Since I stopped writing for a few weeks, I've been getting bombarded with advice as to how to 'cure writer's block' or 'just jump ahead to the present story'. I was told that a certain member of my new family now sleeps in again, because she used to get up early to see what I had written, and now doesn't bother. Ouch.
Ok, I can take the hint! It's important to them to meet me here at the blog every morning. They get a glimpse of me, of my heart, answers to questions they might be too shy to ask, something extra that helps them process this reunion thing too.
And here I thought the blog was all about me...
The real question is, when will they read the new post! Since they're not in the habit of checking every day... :)
At the beginning of the reunion, I used up all my free time with my husband talking on and on about my new family. At dinner, on date night, during hockey games. Note to self: Don't talk to your husband during a hockey game unless your sentence has the word 'wings' or 'pizza', preceded by, "do you want more ______"? He's not interested in hearing about the latest email from my little sister when the game is in overtime. Trust me, that email was way more interesting that the overtime period.
My friends, surprisingly, were not all interested in every moment of my reunion tale. One even interrupted me in the middle of my story, and said, "oh no, I didn't mean I wanted to hear all of that, I just wanted to know it was going well." Oh. So you don't want me to ramble on for hours at a time? I listen to you talk about your kids for hours, I guess it doesn't go both ways.
I needed another outlet, and a blog seemed to be a good choice. It helped me untangle weeks of pent up thoughts and emotions. Unpacking story by story was incredibly helpful to my mental health.
I haven't felt the compulsion to write every day for a while; *spoiler warning* I do have a post saved up about Father's Day, but with the mail strike in Canada, I didn't want to post it until my Dad actually got his Father's Day card, since the post is all about choosing Father's Day cards.
Since I stopped writing for a few weeks, I've been getting bombarded with advice as to how to 'cure writer's block' or 'just jump ahead to the present story'. I was told that a certain member of my new family now sleeps in again, because she used to get up early to see what I had written, and now doesn't bother. Ouch.
Ok, I can take the hint! It's important to them to meet me here at the blog every morning. They get a glimpse of me, of my heart, answers to questions they might be too shy to ask, something extra that helps them process this reunion thing too.
And here I thought the blog was all about me...
The real question is, when will they read the new post! Since they're not in the habit of checking every day... :)
Thursday, 9 June 2011
A day in my time-travelling shoes
I suppose I'll be shifting around a bit more through time with the blog for the next while, as I'm opting for keeping conversations together rather than keeping to the exact timeline. We'll see how this goes :)
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 19, 2011
I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to speak with you and Nick today! You are so beautiful...and that smile!!! (...)
I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes...and it is difficult to know what you may be feeling/thinking. I just want you to know that we are glad that you made that first call. I am so grateful that you are such a “good” girl and will be a great role model for the girls. I think God has a great future for us all and I trust completely in His plans.
Today, a Skype call....next, a real visit!!! How exciting!
In Christ,
Linda
Linda
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Email to Linda, from Haley; March 19, 2011
I loved seeing you all in 'real life'. It's so much better than just a picture! It was hard for me to concentrate on talking I was so busy taking it all in! Sorry I didn't have much to say, I think I was a bit in shock. (...)
Emotional doesn't begin to describe me today. I'm a wreck. Happy sad nervous anxious scared excited all at once. I smile reading through the emails and then I'm bawling because I'm afraid of messing this up. Overall just a wreck. I spent the rest of the evening trying to write an email to Kevin. Nick is still working on the truck, so I used a half a box of Kleenex on my own :)
I want to get to know everyone and I don't want to slow things down with you all, but it's definitely an emotional time!
Blessings,
Haley
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Half a box of kleenex, home alone with the keyboard and the dog...if I drank much, I think tonight would be the night to get out a bottle of (insert your favourite drink here). But I don't, so it was just me, the kleenex, the keyboard and the dog. I can't call anyone because I don't know what I'd say. I looked so forward to the Skype call, and then had this terrible breakdown immediately afterward. Where's the DSM-IV TR when you need it? Perhaps I'm not quite the 'great role model' Linda has in mind.
Sunday, 5 June 2011
Reality Check
We hung up after the skype call and I was in shock.
This is the first email to you that I'm struggling to write! I hope you can read this with filtered lenses please, I am going to be as honest as I can be - but sometimes I know I can come across as critical instead of honest, and I don't do too well at censoring myself. So please read it with grace lenses :) and I'll ask for forgiveness in advance.
The first thing my husband said to me, “You sure didn’t talk much!”. I didn’t? I didn’t really notice! I tend to be pretty shy, so that’s not really a surprise. And what was I supposed to say anyway? I was too busy trying to take it all in to have room left to think about what to say.
Then I had a mini freak out. Maybe a huge freak out. How can Kevin look like a stranger when we’ve been sharing life stuff for a few weeks already?
It was so different to see them live. I’ve seen pictures, and they look exactly the same as their pictures, but now they’re real.
It’s hard to explain, not as though I thought they were ‘fake’ but to know each person is real, and what they have emailed me is really from each of them; I think of the kids especially. Their personalities shone through each email. I can tell just by reading the writing who each email is from if I never saw the reply address or a signature. To match that up to a live face is overwhelming.
It was like I’ve been living in a fog-filled dream world for the last two weeks, and then today in twenty minutes I had my eyes truly opened. The mist cleared away and this was my reality. I’m the plus-one in a new family.
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Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 19, 2011
Then I had a mini freak out. Maybe a huge freak out. How can Kevin look like a stranger when we’ve been sharing life stuff for a few weeks already?
It was so different to see them live. I’ve seen pictures, and they look exactly the same as their pictures, but now they’re real.
It’s hard to explain, not as though I thought they were ‘fake’ but to know each person is real, and what they have emailed me is really from each of them; I think of the kids especially. Their personalities shone through each email. I can tell just by reading the writing who each email is from if I never saw the reply address or a signature. To match that up to a live face is overwhelming.
It was like I’ve been living in a fog-filled dream world for the last two weeks, and then today in twenty minutes I had my eyes truly opened. The mist cleared away and this was my reality. I’m the plus-one in a new family.
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Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 19, 2011
Hi Kevin,
This is the first email to you that I'm struggling to write! I hope you can read this with filtered lenses please, I am going to be as honest as I can be - but sometimes I know I can come across as critical instead of honest, and I don't do too well at censoring myself. So please read it with grace lenses :) and I'll ask for forgiveness in advance.
It was so wonderful to see you all 'face to face'. Somehow it makes it seem so much more real.
I'm embarrassed that I didn't say much; I'm sorry. I was sort of in shock I guess. There's 5 of you and only one of me, and it's hard for me to take it all in and still have room left in my brain to think about what to say next. With emails it's so much easier because I can take the time I need to think. I'm a fairly quiet person when I don't know people well, and I'm even worse in groups. If I'm at a table with 10 of my dearest friends, it takes a lot to prompt me to join in the conversation.
All that being said...I think I need to right-size my expectations. I've been having these grandiose ideas about visiting for a weekend or I don't know, just big plans for an ideal reunion. I have to quit watching tv shows like The Locator and Find My Family! I guess it's easy to splice a 60 minute awkward silence-filled conversation into a 2 minute sound byte. We're essentially strangers, and you get the benefit of me looking like or sounding like someone in your family, but I'm flying blind. It feels so strange because even though we've had a couple of weeks of emails I still look at you and feel like I don't know you at all. It's surreal, like it's not really my life, but someone else's.
I'm scared because of what happened with Camille. I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I don't screw this up, but I don't even know what it should look like.
So where do we go from here? I don't know. I'm at a loss. I think skype is so cool because you can see each other, and it's almost like you're in the same room, but it's distracting for me to see you and I'm trying to see me in you and I can't think about what to say. It's info overload. I guess I would like it if you and I could just talk on the phone instead for a while. And I think I would like to ask you a few questions about when I was born if that's ok. And if Linda or the kids wanted to talk, that'd be ok, but I think I'd like it to be 1 on 1 instead of everyone at once.
Ok, so that was long and rambling, sorry. Nick went back to work and I'm just processing it all on my own and thought that you should know what I'm thinking too.
I'd love to talk again soon, but you can email me first and tell me how long and rambling I am sometimes :)
Blessings, Haley
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I'm embarrassed that I didn't say much; I'm sorry. I was sort of in shock I guess. There's 5 of you and only one of me, and it's hard for me to take it all in and still have room left in my brain to think about what to say next. With emails it's so much easier because I can take the time I need to think. I'm a fairly quiet person when I don't know people well, and I'm even worse in groups. If I'm at a table with 10 of my dearest friends, it takes a lot to prompt me to join in the conversation.
All that being said...I think I need to right-size my expectations. I've been having these grandiose ideas about visiting for a weekend or I don't know, just big plans for an ideal reunion. I have to quit watching tv shows like The Locator and Find My Family! I guess it's easy to splice a 60 minute awkward silence-filled conversation into a 2 minute sound byte. We're essentially strangers, and you get the benefit of me looking like or sounding like someone in your family, but I'm flying blind. It feels so strange because even though we've had a couple of weeks of emails I still look at you and feel like I don't know you at all. It's surreal, like it's not really my life, but someone else's.
I'm scared because of what happened with Camille. I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I don't screw this up, but I don't even know what it should look like.
So where do we go from here? I don't know. I'm at a loss. I think skype is so cool because you can see each other, and it's almost like you're in the same room, but it's distracting for me to see you and I'm trying to see me in you and I can't think about what to say. It's info overload. I guess I would like it if you and I could just talk on the phone instead for a while. And I think I would like to ask you a few questions about when I was born if that's ok. And if Linda or the kids wanted to talk, that'd be ok, but I think I'd like it to be 1 on 1 instead of everyone at once.
Ok, so that was long and rambling, sorry. Nick went back to work and I'm just processing it all on my own and thought that you should know what I'm thinking too.
I'd love to talk again soon, but you can email me first and tell me how long and rambling I am sometimes :)
Blessings, Haley
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Saturday, 4 June 2011
The Skype Call, Part Two
I'm thrilled to tell you that Kevin has agreed (I'm told this was half 'happily' and half 'reluctantly' due to his private nature...) to write a guest post. Please enjoy the view from his glasses today.
Skype day was like most Saturdays at our house, a bit busy and a bit lazy. Everyone in the house was excited/nervous all day. We knew Haley would become and remain part of our lives, my wife and I had already agreed (how good is she?!). Skyping would be another step in the string of steps already taken. I set up in the kitchen. In retrospect, my wife told me she'd never seen me so nervous. I remember feeling anxious, very anxious...
I don't recall who called whom, but when we got on the call it was only Haley and I. Initially it was surreal, my first time on skype, seeing the daughter I knew I had but knew little about until just a few weeks previous.
I had prepared a small list of things to talk about because I'm not very talkative on the weekends as I talk all day at work. We'd traded photos previously, so I recognized her immediately. It's impossible not to notice mannerisms in Haley that I and my siblings share.
Woah! Not easy.
At times it feels like we're just staring at each other; even though we've found a nice pleasant rhythm in our writings back and forth, adding audio and video has added a whole new dimension that for sure I'm not prepared for.
I'm struggling to bring things up, and Haley is really quiet, it kind of feels like we're on a nervous blind date, time to call in the reinforcements! We pull Linda and Nick into the camera view and things start to settle down again, then after a few quiet pauses we bring in our kids.
After more small talk there are seven of us watching tv, not much to say but all amazed as we look through the glass. My list of questions gets used up, I try to make jokes to keep things light but it's hard for everyone (maybe because they weren't funny, though I find that hard to believe) we're all excited and nervous and mesmerized by the new family members. We lift up our 45 pound dog Danny and introduce him to Lucy, who likely weighs 6 pounds out of the bathtub, this was proof to me we were struggling a bit for content!
After we say goodbye, everyone in my kitchen lets out a huge sigh of relief, we did it! I imagine it was the same in Haley's house. We'd successfully met 'face to face' and not only survived, but set ourselves up for continuing to head down the path of getting to know each other.
That was an amazing day; with luck there will be many more to come.
-Kevin
Skype day was like most Saturdays at our house, a bit busy and a bit lazy. Everyone in the house was excited/nervous all day. We knew Haley would become and remain part of our lives, my wife and I had already agreed (how good is she?!). Skyping would be another step in the string of steps already taken. I set up in the kitchen. In retrospect, my wife told me she'd never seen me so nervous. I remember feeling anxious, very anxious...
I don't recall who called whom, but when we got on the call it was only Haley and I. Initially it was surreal, my first time on skype, seeing the daughter I knew I had but knew little about until just a few weeks previous.
I had prepared a small list of things to talk about because I'm not very talkative on the weekends as I talk all day at work. We'd traded photos previously, so I recognized her immediately. It's impossible not to notice mannerisms in Haley that I and my siblings share.
Woah! Not easy.
At times it feels like we're just staring at each other; even though we've found a nice pleasant rhythm in our writings back and forth, adding audio and video has added a whole new dimension that for sure I'm not prepared for.
I'm struggling to bring things up, and Haley is really quiet, it kind of feels like we're on a nervous blind date, time to call in the reinforcements! We pull Linda and Nick into the camera view and things start to settle down again, then after a few quiet pauses we bring in our kids.
After more small talk there are seven of us watching tv, not much to say but all amazed as we look through the glass. My list of questions gets used up, I try to make jokes to keep things light but it's hard for everyone (maybe because they weren't funny, though I find that hard to believe) we're all excited and nervous and mesmerized by the new family members. We lift up our 45 pound dog Danny and introduce him to Lucy, who likely weighs 6 pounds out of the bathtub, this was proof to me we were struggling a bit for content!
After we say goodbye, everyone in my kitchen lets out a huge sigh of relief, we did it! I imagine it was the same in Haley's house. We'd successfully met 'face to face' and not only survived, but set ourselves up for continuing to head down the path of getting to know each other.
That was an amazing day; with luck there will be many more to come.
-Kevin
Friday, 3 June 2011
The Skype Call
March 19 through my Facebook statuses:
7:37am: Today is the big skype date! No wonder I couldn't sleep...I've been way too excited. I hope this mountain of laundry can distract me until 5:00!
4:02pm: 1 hour. I'm gonna throw up. It was easier when I was busy with cleaning.
I chose very carefully what to wear, only to recall that our webcam has more of a neck-up view (ha! so much for vanity...). I put on makeup, to which my dear husband says, “makeup for skype? really?” Yes really. No I don’t wear full makeup every single day of my life, but on days that I especially feel like smoothing over any flaws...
I asked Nick to make sure skype was on, and then I sat in the other room feeling like I was going to throw up for about an hour. That’s what happens to me when I’m nervous; full on nauseous. Finally, after watching every second tick by on the clock there was only ten minutes left to wait. I sat at the desk and waited. New clock to stare at, unkindly though it didn’t provide me with a second hand. Each minute was monotonous. Kind of like how you’re thinking right now, so get to the call! What happens on the call? The anticipation burns, and there’s no relief until you eventually hear the ring.
Finally, at exactly 5:00pm, the appointed time, we met 'face to face' for the first time.
7:37am: Today is the big skype date! No wonder I couldn't sleep...I've been way too excited. I hope this mountain of laundry can distract me until 5:00!
4:02pm: 1 hour. I'm gonna throw up. It was easier when I was busy with cleaning.
I chose very carefully what to wear, only to recall that our webcam has more of a neck-up view (ha! so much for vanity...). I put on makeup, to which my dear husband says, “makeup for skype? really?” Yes really. No I don’t wear full makeup every single day of my life, but on days that I especially feel like smoothing over any flaws...
I asked Nick to make sure skype was on, and then I sat in the other room feeling like I was going to throw up for about an hour. That’s what happens to me when I’m nervous; full on nauseous. Finally, after watching every second tick by on the clock there was only ten minutes left to wait. I sat at the desk and waited. New clock to stare at, unkindly though it didn’t provide me with a second hand. Each minute was monotonous. Kind of like how you’re thinking right now, so get to the call! What happens on the call? The anticipation burns, and there’s no relief until you eventually hear the ring.
Finally, at exactly 5:00pm, the appointed time, we met 'face to face' for the first time.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
My Inbox Runneth Over
Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 17, 2011
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 17, 2011
Hi Haley,
Are you overwhelmed yet? I am fully aware that the children have been e-mailing up a storm!!!!!!!! How excited you have made them. I have not read any of Amy’s or Daniel’s correspondence but since Sarah’s e-mails come into my e-mail box I have read hers. Imagine my horror :) at her describing her hair as long and golden (I am sure she is humble somewhere in her soul!!!) When she read that to me I laughed and hoped you would too! She has taken so much time to e-mail you that it touches me.
(...)
Many blessings to you and I look forward to Saturday when we will hear you voice and see you face to face (kind of!)
In Christ,
Linda
Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 17, 2011
Blessings,
Haley
Hi Haley,
Daniel and Sarah told me they e-mailed you last night, and then I heard Amy mention it to Linda as I drifted off. I was so happy to hear that, hopefully its not too much for you now...they are incredible kids, and yet I can't help but think it overwhelming for you as well.
Be sure to speak up, ok?
Kevin
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Daniel and Sarah told me they e-mailed you last night, and then I heard Amy mention it to Linda as I drifted off. I was so happy to hear that, hopefully its not too much for you now...they are incredible kids, and yet I can't help but think it overwhelming for you as well.
Be sure to speak up, ok?
Kevin
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Email to Haley, from Linda; March 17, 2011
Hi Haley,
Are you overwhelmed yet? I am fully aware that the children have been e-mailing up a storm!!!!!!!! How excited you have made them. I have not read any of Amy’s or Daniel’s correspondence but since Sarah’s e-mails come into my e-mail box I have read hers. Imagine my horror :) at her describing her hair as long and golden (I am sure she is humble somewhere in her soul!!!) When she read that to me I laughed and hoped you would too! She has taken so much time to e-mail you that it touches me.
(...)
Many blessings to you and I look forward to Saturday when we will hear you voice and see you face to face (kind of!)
In Christ,
Linda
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It is very overwhelming in a 'my cup runs over' joy-filled way! I was thrilled to read their emails and responded to them last night. They are an absolute delight! I'm privileged to get to meet them!
Blessings,
Haley
-----
What a wonderful problem to have. I used to be afraid that I had read the very last email I'd ever receive from Kevin, and now I can barely keep up with my inbox. I don't think Nick has ever seen me so attached to my iPhone or the computer.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Sarah, Part Two
Email to Sarah, from Haley; March 16, 2011
Hi Sarah!
Wow! You sound like you love ballet. That's so neat! I've never ever tried it, but I remember going to see the nutcracker when I was about your age and loving it! Do you do recitals in your class? The closest I come to dancing is a Zumba fitness class, that's Latin dancing plus aerobics. It's pretty fun!
I saw a picture of your beautiful hair! I have dark brown hair, it's only shoulder length now but I used to have very long hair when I was younger. It was too hard for me to keep straight! I have very fine hair and it would always get tangled.
We have a Wii too! We only have a couple of games but my favourite is bowling. Which ones do you like to play?
Do your dolls have names? My favourite doll had red curly hair and I named her Penny. I really liked to pick out dresses and do my dolls' hair too. We had a friend that made doll clothes so it was always special to get a new outfit that you couldn't buy at the store! Do you like to do any crafts?
Sarah you're pretty wise for 9 years old. Faith is very important and I know a lot of people don't take it seriously. It's a good thing that God gives us second chances (many of them) and that He loves us enough to forgive us when we don't take Him seriously.
Thanks for your email Sarah! What a treasure you are! I can't wait to meet you!
Blessings,
Haley
Wow! You sound like you love ballet. That's so neat! I've never ever tried it, but I remember going to see the nutcracker when I was about your age and loving it! Do you do recitals in your class? The closest I come to dancing is a Zumba fitness class, that's Latin dancing plus aerobics. It's pretty fun!
I saw a picture of your beautiful hair! I have dark brown hair, it's only shoulder length now but I used to have very long hair when I was younger. It was too hard for me to keep straight! I have very fine hair and it would always get tangled.
We have a Wii too! We only have a couple of games but my favourite is bowling. Which ones do you like to play?
Do your dolls have names? My favourite doll had red curly hair and I named her Penny. I really liked to pick out dresses and do my dolls' hair too. We had a friend that made doll clothes so it was always special to get a new outfit that you couldn't buy at the store! Do you like to do any crafts?
Sarah you're pretty wise for 9 years old. Faith is very important and I know a lot of people don't take it seriously. It's a good thing that God gives us second chances (many of them) and that He loves us enough to forgive us when we don't take Him seriously.
Thanks for your email Sarah! What a treasure you are! I can't wait to meet you!
Blessings,
Haley
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I can't wait to meet all of them! Only a couple more days until our first Skype date!
Friday, 20 May 2011
Sarah
Email to Haley, from Sarah; March 16, 2011
Dear Haley,
As you already know my name is Sarah and I am so excited to get to know you. I am going to tell you my hobby’s first, I spend most of my time listening to music and story CDs. But one of favourite hobby’s is ballet. I go to do ballet twice a week. I also enjoy playing with Amy and Daniel, styling dresses for my baby dolls (all eight of them), and doing my long golden hair!! But I think out of all these things I like best to play with Amy and Daniel. (...) A few years ago my dad and mom got us a Wii, so now Amy and sometimes Daniel will play Wii with me. Unfortunately Amy has given up Wii for lent. I am giving up sweets (candy) for lent. Mom is giving up coffee. Daniel is giving up sweets too. And dad? He is giving up smoking and he doesn’t even smoke. And that brings me to talk a little bit about my faith. Faith should have been the first topic in this e-mail because it should be so important in everybody’s lives even though it seems like nobody feels this way. Well by for now!!!
All my love,
Sarah
Dear Haley,
As you already know my name is Sarah and I am so excited to get to know you. I am going to tell you my hobby’s first, I spend most of my time listening to music and story CDs. But one of favourite hobby’s is ballet. I go to do ballet twice a week. I also enjoy playing with Amy and Daniel, styling dresses for my baby dolls (all eight of them), and doing my long golden hair!! But I think out of all these things I like best to play with Amy and Daniel. (...) A few years ago my dad and mom got us a Wii, so now Amy and sometimes Daniel will play Wii with me. Unfortunately Amy has given up Wii for lent. I am giving up sweets (candy) for lent. Mom is giving up coffee. Daniel is giving up sweets too. And dad? He is giving up smoking and he doesn’t even smoke. And that brings me to talk a little bit about my faith. Faith should have been the first topic in this e-mail because it should be so important in everybody’s lives even though it seems like nobody feels this way. Well by for now!!!
All my love,
Sarah
-----
Sarah is nine, and she is a complete doll! I laughed at "my long golden hair" and cried at "All my love".
I just can't express what it means to receive these emails. They are the dearest kids I have ever known, and I haven't even had the pleasure of meeting them yet. It's inexplicable. I don't know them, yet I love them. They don't know me, yet they have already opened up their hearts to me. Oh to have childlike faith.
They deserve the best big sister in the world. I hope I don't disappoint them.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Amy, Part Two
Email to Amy, from Haley; March 16, 2011
Hi Amy!
Can I just start out by saying how adorable you are? I just loved your email! It gave me a glimpse of your sparkly personality!
I love reading too. I remember when I finished off the library at my middle school, the massive disappointment of no new books...then I got to use the public library and I haven't run out of books since. :)
Hi Amy!
Can I just start out by saying how adorable you are? I just loved your email! It gave me a glimpse of your sparkly personality!
I love reading too. I remember when I finished off the library at my middle school, the massive disappointment of no new books...then I got to use the public library and I haven't run out of books since. :)
I love all sorts of books, but right now I read a lot of non-fiction Christian books. My favourite fiction authors are John Grisham and Jodi Picoult but I don't think I started reading those until I was in my late teens.
I'm kind of sad to be grown up too. I feel like missed out on quite a few years with you! But I'll still try to be the cool older sister who doles out boy advice and has their driver's license!
I really love Christian music too. I volunteer at a huge Christian conference in Edmonton every year and this year I got to run our Sunday night concert. I got to meet a bunch of bands: Pocket Full of Rocks, Bluetree, 33Miles, Building 429, Leeland. We've also met Matt Maher, Paul Baloche, Robin Mark, Third Day, Michael W. Smith, MercyMe, Casting Crowns, Brian Doerksen... Lots of them! It's kind of a cool volunteer job! I used to work for the conference so they trust me :)
I love Chris Tomlin! How lucky are you!?! Is it a special birthday trip?
I am so impressed that you passed your grade 8! That is a huge accomplishment! Congratulations! What type of music do you like to play? Is it more classical or pop?
I'm kind of sad to be grown up too. I feel like missed out on quite a few years with you! But I'll still try to be the cool older sister who doles out boy advice and has their driver's license!
I really love Christian music too. I volunteer at a huge Christian conference in Edmonton every year and this year I got to run our Sunday night concert. I got to meet a bunch of bands: Pocket Full of Rocks, Bluetree, 33Miles, Building 429, Leeland. We've also met Matt Maher, Paul Baloche, Robin Mark, Third Day, Michael W. Smith, MercyMe, Casting Crowns, Brian Doerksen... Lots of them! It's kind of a cool volunteer job! I used to work for the conference so they trust me :)
I love Chris Tomlin! How lucky are you!?! Is it a special birthday trip?
I am so impressed that you passed your grade 8! That is a huge accomplishment! Congratulations! What type of music do you like to play? Is it more classical or pop?
(...)
Amy, you can email me anytime (as long as your mom and dad are ok with that...). I'd be delighted to hear all about your life and answer any questions that I can. I don't have all the answers, but I know someone that does :)
Amy, you can email me anytime (as long as your mom and dad are ok with that...). I'd be delighted to hear all about your life and answer any questions that I can. I don't have all the answers, but I know someone that does :)
Do you have many other activities? I heard you go out for sushi after piano! That's fun! I love sushi too.
I think we've got great potential here for being kindred spirits :)
I think we've got great potential here for being kindred spirits :)
Blessings,
Haley
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Haley
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A sister at last! And not just one, but two...I can’t wait to introduce you to Sarah. She’s effervescent!
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Amy
Reminder of what I wrote to Amy and Sarah:
Amy and Sarah - I saw your pictures and you are both so beautiful! I am so excited to have sisters! If you're ok with me joining your family as your big sister, I think we may have some great late-night chats, spa dates, watch Anne of Green Gables with giant boxes of kleenex and maybe you're past the barbie stage...but I still have a box of barbies that haven't seen sisters play together yet.
Email to Haley, from Amy; March 16, 2011
Hi Haley,
I’m SO excited to have an older sister! I’ve always wanted an older sister. Older brothers are fine, but they just don’t get girl things. (...) Little sisters are fine too, but you can’t ask them for advice or anything like that. In other words, I’m glad I have you now! I hope you don’t mind being an older sister. (...)
Ok, I am Amy and I am 13 at the end of April. I LOVE reading fantasy books, but I also like mysteries like Nancy Drew, and I like books like Anne of Green Gables. Wide variety! But fantasy books are probably my favorite. My favorite fantasy author is Bryan Davis, he is GREAT! He writes for adults and teens. You should read some of his books. (What kind of books do you like to read? I’m always open for suggestions, because I go through books pretty fast.) I requested a new book he just wrote from the library in September, and it STILL hasn’t got here. It’s the second in the series and I’m on pins and needles to see what will happen next! (...)
I also just kind of got interested in music. I’m a big fan of Christian music and some of my favorite artists (that is such a weird name for a song writer!) are: Matt Maher, Chris Tomlin, and Toby Mac. Well, I only like 5 songs of Toby Mac’s but it still counts…Dan found you’re face book page and it said you like Matt Maher too! He wasn’t sure if it was the right page though. I’m going to see Chris Tomlin live in Seattle in April! I’m SO excited for it! Mom and I are going and after the concert we’re going to stay in a hotel for the night! Fun!
Besides being an avid reader, another hobby is piano. I just passed my grade 8 exam, and I’m SO excited about it because now I’m qualified to teach piano! (...)
Yes, I think I’ve past the Barbie stage, but I would LOVE some late night secrets! I’m not real big on a spa though…Sarah is though! She loves stuff like that! (...)
I’m sort of disappointed you’re grown up, but in a way I’m glad because then I can tell you boy stuff, and you probably won’t ever meet them, and let something slip that I like them. (...)
Love, Amy
-----
She’s a complete delight! The time, thought and trust that she put into this email, it’s incredible (The original had 1042 words...Amy and I edited it down quite a bit). It demonstrates to me what wonderful parents these dear children have had.
Email to Haley, from Amy; March 16, 2011
I’m SO excited to have an older sister! I’ve always wanted an older sister. Older brothers are fine, but they just don’t get girl things. (...) Little sisters are fine too, but you can’t ask them for advice or anything like that. In other words, I’m glad I have you now! I hope you don’t mind being an older sister. (...)
Ok, I am Amy and I am 13 at the end of April. I LOVE reading fantasy books, but I also like mysteries like Nancy Drew, and I like books like Anne of Green Gables. Wide variety! But fantasy books are probably my favorite. My favorite fantasy author is Bryan Davis, he is GREAT! He writes for adults and teens. You should read some of his books. (What kind of books do you like to read? I’m always open for suggestions, because I go through books pretty fast.) I requested a new book he just wrote from the library in September, and it STILL hasn’t got here. It’s the second in the series and I’m on pins and needles to see what will happen next! (...)
I also just kind of got interested in music. I’m a big fan of Christian music and some of my favorite artists (that is such a weird name for a song writer!) are: Matt Maher, Chris Tomlin, and Toby Mac. Well, I only like 5 songs of Toby Mac’s but it still counts…Dan found you’re face book page and it said you like Matt Maher too! He wasn’t sure if it was the right page though. I’m going to see Chris Tomlin live in Seattle in April! I’m SO excited for it! Mom and I are going and after the concert we’re going to stay in a hotel for the night! Fun!
Besides being an avid reader, another hobby is piano. I just passed my grade 8 exam, and I’m SO excited about it because now I’m qualified to teach piano! (...)
Yes, I think I’ve past the Barbie stage, but I would LOVE some late night secrets! I’m not real big on a spa though…Sarah is though! She loves stuff like that! (...)
I’m sort of disappointed you’re grown up, but in a way I’m glad because then I can tell you boy stuff, and you probably won’t ever meet them, and let something slip that I like them. (...)
Love, Amy
-----
She’s a complete delight! The time, thought and trust that she put into this email, it’s incredible (The original had 1042 words...Amy and I edited it down quite a bit). It demonstrates to me what wonderful parents these dear children have had.
I can’t wait to meet her in person! What a gift to be loved by someone who has never met you.
The best line... "I'm sort of disappointed you're grown up." Me too.
The best line... "I'm sort of disappointed you're grown up." Me too.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Daniel, Part Two
Email to Daniel, from Haley; March 16, 2011
Hi Daniel!
No it's not every day you find a new family member is it?!? And I found 5! Have you told anyone else yet? Everyone I've shared with has been very excited for all of us.
You have my permission to grill my husband Nick a bit if you need some practice screening boyfriends, except for the part about being in the garage...that's just a bit too scary for me :)
I do love to read! I used to read 5 books a week when I was about your age, now I read less, but still love it. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll have to see if I can find some of them!
I loved reading about your interests, thanks for sharing! God is #1 on my list too. I'm so thankful we have that in common. It took me until I was about 16 to really accept Him into my life, so I'm extremely happy that you've already done that. Do you have any favourite Bible verses or stories?
I used to read a lot of fantasy/sci fi too, but I haven't lately. I read a lot of non-fiction Christian books and also books about adoption. My favourite fiction authors are John Grisham and Jodi Picoult; I also read a lot of CS Lewis when I was younger.
I love music too! I listen to all sorts of music, but I especially love worship music. Matt Maher is awesome! I actually got to meet him; he has come to a conference in Edmonton that Nick and I both volunteer at. It's called Break Forth, and it's an awesome Christian event. Maybe sometime you guys can come up for it.
I'm not really "sporty" either, although I did promise Nick that I would play softball this summer...so I guess I'll still have to practice playing catch with him :) Do you like to watch any sports? I heard you had a special visit to see the grey cup! How was that?
I like being outside too. I used to be in army cadets and we did a lot of orienteering things like camping and target practice, don't tell Nick... but between you and me, I can start a fire faster (and in the rain!). Do you get badges in scouts? What kinds of things do you do at scouts? Your Dad told me you were on a trip with them last weekend. Sounds like fun!
I have seen a picture of your dog! He looks like a great furry friend. Have you seen a picture of mine? Her name is Lucy and she's kind of a princess dog. She doesn't like to go outside when it's cold or wet, but she does love walks! How old is your dog? Lucy is 5 but still acts like a puppy sometimes.
Thanks for your email! I look forward to meeting you 'face to face' on skype soon!
Blessings,
Haley
-----
The day I received the email from Daniel was monumental. I literally expected to come to the end of my life (many years from now...) never having experienced what it's like to have a brother. Yes I have three great brothers-in-law, but it's not the same. Nick has a strong bond with his siblings. And no matter how close I've become with them, it's different. I know I'm an 'in-law' and while I'm warmly accepted into the family, I'm an addition. It's most clear when we take family photos; There's always the one photo where the 'in-laws' step aside to let the original family have their photo taken. I realize I am floundering at trying to explain this, let me just say that if you're not living this, you won't understand.
Hi Daniel!
No it's not every day you find a new family member is it?!? And I found 5! Have you told anyone else yet? Everyone I've shared with has been very excited for all of us.
You have my permission to grill my husband Nick a bit if you need some practice screening boyfriends, except for the part about being in the garage...that's just a bit too scary for me :)
I do love to read! I used to read 5 books a week when I was about your age, now I read less, but still love it. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll have to see if I can find some of them!
I loved reading about your interests, thanks for sharing! God is #1 on my list too. I'm so thankful we have that in common. It took me until I was about 16 to really accept Him into my life, so I'm extremely happy that you've already done that. Do you have any favourite Bible verses or stories?
I used to read a lot of fantasy/sci fi too, but I haven't lately. I read a lot of non-fiction Christian books and also books about adoption. My favourite fiction authors are John Grisham and Jodi Picoult; I also read a lot of CS Lewis when I was younger.
I love music too! I listen to all sorts of music, but I especially love worship music. Matt Maher is awesome! I actually got to meet him; he has come to a conference in Edmonton that Nick and I both volunteer at. It's called Break Forth, and it's an awesome Christian event. Maybe sometime you guys can come up for it.
I'm not really "sporty" either, although I did promise Nick that I would play softball this summer...so I guess I'll still have to practice playing catch with him :) Do you like to watch any sports? I heard you had a special visit to see the grey cup! How was that?
I like being outside too. I used to be in army cadets and we did a lot of orienteering things like camping and target practice, don't tell Nick... but between you and me, I can start a fire faster (and in the rain!). Do you get badges in scouts? What kinds of things do you do at scouts? Your Dad told me you were on a trip with them last weekend. Sounds like fun!
I have seen a picture of your dog! He looks like a great furry friend. Have you seen a picture of mine? Her name is Lucy and she's kind of a princess dog. She doesn't like to go outside when it's cold or wet, but she does love walks! How old is your dog? Lucy is 5 but still acts like a puppy sometimes.
Thanks for your email! I look forward to meeting you 'face to face' on skype soon!
Blessings,
Haley
-----
The day I received the email from Daniel was monumental. I literally expected to come to the end of my life (many years from now...) never having experienced what it's like to have a brother. Yes I have three great brothers-in-law, but it's not the same. Nick has a strong bond with his siblings. And no matter how close I've become with them, it's different. I know I'm an 'in-law' and while I'm warmly accepted into the family, I'm an addition. It's most clear when we take family photos; There's always the one photo where the 'in-laws' step aside to let the original family have their photo taken. I realize I am floundering at trying to explain this, let me just say that if you're not living this, you won't understand.
Monday, 16 May 2011
Daniel
Reminder of what I wrote earlier to Daniel:
Daniel- It must be great to be an older brother. I know you've got some serious responsibilities on your shoulders. Soon you'll have to fend off future suitors for not just one but two sisters. You get to be the 'man' of the house when your Dad's away. And you have two sisters who may have ganged up on you to force you to play house or let them cut your hair...I'm sorry that I don't balance out the boys side for you :) But at least you don't have to screen my boyfriends, I'm already married! Seriously though, what a great honour I'll have if you allow me the privilege of being your big sister. I always wanted a brother to show me how to do some boy stuff like playing video games or someone to play catch with. I also need someone who can recommend some great books...I go through a couple most weeks! I hope you can help me out with some of that!
Hey Haley!!
I’m SSSOOO excited to have you as an older sister!!! I can’t wait to meet you in person!! This whole thing is really exciting for me, I mean it’s not every day you have a new sister!!
Yeah being an older brother is awesome....most of the time :P (...)
Dad and I have always joked that when the girls are older and a boyfriend comes to take them on a date we’ll be in the garage like in that song.....oh what’s it called..? hhmmm....and I’ll be sharpening my knife and he’ll be sharpening his axe and we’ll screen the boy first :P. Dad mentioned that you like to read...thats something we have in common...well You might like this series of books ‘Dragons in our Midst’ by Bryan Davis... They tie in with another series called ‘Oracles of Fire’ and they are both great Christian fantasy series (by the day read Dragons in our Midst first).
Well I guess I should probably tell you about myself because I’m guessing I won’t have much time when we have our video call on Saturday or when we meet. So... I have a few passions which are: God and my faith, reading, and music (classic rock mostly). Some of my favourite books are: the Inheritance Cycle, Sherlock Holmes, Dragons in our Midst, Oracles of Fire, Lord of the Rings, and a few others. Then some of my favourite bands are: U2, Rush, The Who, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Boston, The Beatles, The Police, Matt Maher, and Bon Jovi. I’m not a very sportsy person I prefer to read or play videogames (which I don’t do a whole lot because I am only allowed 40 minutes/day. I really love to be outdoors though. I am in scouts and I love camping and hiking! I also like walking the dog (did you know we have a dog? He’s awesome!
Well I guess I should probably tell you about myself because I’m guessing I won’t have much time when we have our video call on Saturday or when we meet. So... I have a few passions which are: God and my faith, reading, and music (classic rock mostly). Some of my favourite books are: the Inheritance Cycle, Sherlock Holmes, Dragons in our Midst, Oracles of Fire, Lord of the Rings, and a few others. Then some of my favourite bands are: U2, Rush, The Who, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Boston, The Beatles, The Police, Matt Maher, and Bon Jovi. I’m not a very sportsy person I prefer to read or play videogames (which I don’t do a whole lot because I am only allowed 40 minutes/day. I really love to be outdoors though. I am in scouts and I love camping and hiking! I also like walking the dog (did you know we have a dog? He’s awesome!
Well I’m not quite sure about what else to tell you so help me out by asking questions!!!
(feels so weird to be saying this) Your Brother,
(feels so weird to be saying this) Your Brother,
Daniel
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Ok, my heart totally melted. I love him already! What a charmer :) "It's not every day you have a new sister!!" No it's not!
I love the signature..."Your Brother,"
This is what joy feels like!
I love the signature..."Your Brother,"
This is what joy feels like!
Sunday, 15 May 2011
It's a new day!
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 16, 2011
Dear Haley,
How your e-mails warm my heart!!
Today is Wednesday, and the kids have piano lessons first thing in the morning. Following these lessons we normally go to a local Japanese restaurant for sushi. I shared with the kids more details about you and their responses were amazingly enthusiastic! Daniel asked if he could have your e-mail, so I took the pleasure and told them that they had an e-mail waiting for them at home! As soon as we entered the house, the kids asked to read it!! Well, they did. How they delighted in your personal words to them. It is agreed that you have an amazing personality! They will be responding to you (today probably).
I hope you don’t become too overwhelmed but they are anxious to get to know you and anxious to tell you all about themselves!! We’ll all be present for Saturday’s Skype call.
May God Bless You
Linda
Dear Haley,
How your e-mails warm my heart!!
Today is Wednesday, and the kids have piano lessons first thing in the morning. Following these lessons we normally go to a local Japanese restaurant for sushi. I shared with the kids more details about you and their responses were amazingly enthusiastic! Daniel asked if he could have your e-mail, so I took the pleasure and told them that they had an e-mail waiting for them at home! As soon as we entered the house, the kids asked to read it!! Well, they did. How they delighted in your personal words to them. It is agreed that you have an amazing personality! They will be responding to you (today probably).
I hope you don’t become too overwhelmed but they are anxious to get to know you and anxious to tell you all about themselves!! We’ll all be present for Saturday’s Skype call.
May God Bless You
Linda
-----
Yesterday I thought I would have to wait as long as a few weeks to interact with my siblings.
It's a new day! And you only have to wait one more day to read what the first email from my brother said...
It's a new day! And you only have to wait one more day to read what the first email from my brother said...
Saturday, 14 May 2011
A Very Delicate Situation
Email to Linda, from Haley; March 15, 2011
Oh dear! I learned not to open personal email at work, because I had a serious break down today! Your email was so accepting and honest, I was able to hear your heart. That's no small accomplishment via email :) Thank you for the warm welcome.
I was so nervous to share that I am a Christian, but I'm so grateful now that we can share that faith. Thank you for being open about that with me. It's a significant part of my life too.
Your dear ones! I have been so focused on thinking about what a big change this is for me, I didn't fully think about what a huge change this will be for them. I didn't know you had told them yet, but thank you for being so candid about their reactions. It makes it real for me to know they have some processing to do too. There's no disappointment on my end; you know what they can handle and I trust that you will be as gentle with them as you can in this very delicate situation.
It's a delight to have heard from you Linda. Thank you again for the kind words and for sharing from the heart. I can't wait until Saturday!
I told Kevin before that my productivity is way down...well I told my boss today that I haven't really been "mentally present" lately and he laughed and said "whenever I have a new grandchild, I'm not here either. You gained a whole family. You're high functioning enough of the time to have a few weeks of being a bit slower!". What a great boss :)
Blessings,
Haley
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Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 15, 2011
Good morning Kevin,
I was so excited to get an email from Linda, she sounds wonderful. I think you're very blessed!
It's totally fine to Skype just the adults. I want you to go as slow as they need. I can't imagine the shock factor for those dear ones! I'm glad you're not rushing them.
(...)
Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep, so I listen to podcasts of old radio shows, or Wiretap. I downloaded some more Vinyl Cafe to add to the list. :)
Blessings,
Haley
-----
It's amazing to me that much of the anxiety of the reunion is fading just from knowing that Linda is ok with it; I know how much it means to me that Nick is supportive of the reunion. Now, I think of my siblings and my heart aches for them.
Imagine you are 9 years old (or 12 or 14), and your parents sit you down and tell you that your Dad has another child. Even now, when I know what their reaction was, I still have a hard time thinking about this. It's not the romantic, long-lost daughter story line that would fit in well in any soap opera. It's losing the image of an infallible father. It's confusing and difficult to understand. It's shaking up a world that you're very comfortable in.
Oh dear! I learned not to open personal email at work, because I had a serious break down today! Your email was so accepting and honest, I was able to hear your heart. That's no small accomplishment via email :) Thank you for the warm welcome.
I was so nervous to share that I am a Christian, but I'm so grateful now that we can share that faith. Thank you for being open about that with me. It's a significant part of my life too.
Your dear ones! I have been so focused on thinking about what a big change this is for me, I didn't fully think about what a huge change this will be for them. I didn't know you had told them yet, but thank you for being so candid about their reactions. It makes it real for me to know they have some processing to do too. There's no disappointment on my end; you know what they can handle and I trust that you will be as gentle with them as you can in this very delicate situation.
It's a delight to have heard from you Linda. Thank you again for the kind words and for sharing from the heart. I can't wait until Saturday!
I told Kevin before that my productivity is way down...well I told my boss today that I haven't really been "mentally present" lately and he laughed and said "whenever I have a new grandchild, I'm not here either. You gained a whole family. You're high functioning enough of the time to have a few weeks of being a bit slower!". What a great boss :)
Blessings,
Haley
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Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 15, 2011
Good morning Kevin,
I was so excited to get an email from Linda, she sounds wonderful. I think you're very blessed!
It's totally fine to Skype just the adults. I want you to go as slow as they need. I can't imagine the shock factor for those dear ones! I'm glad you're not rushing them.
(...)
Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep, so I listen to podcasts of old radio shows, or Wiretap. I downloaded some more Vinyl Cafe to add to the list. :)
Blessings,
Haley
-----
It's amazing to me that much of the anxiety of the reunion is fading just from knowing that Linda is ok with it; I know how much it means to me that Nick is supportive of the reunion. Now, I think of my siblings and my heart aches for them.
Imagine you are 9 years old (or 12 or 14), and your parents sit you down and tell you that your Dad has another child. Even now, when I know what their reaction was, I still have a hard time thinking about this. It's not the romantic, long-lost daughter story line that would fit in well in any soap opera. It's losing the image of an infallible father. It's confusing and difficult to understand. It's shaking up a world that you're very comfortable in.
Friday, 13 May 2011
Four Fathers & Four Mothers?
First, please forgive the delay in this post. Blogger has had some issues lately, and therefore deleted my current drafts. Drat. So I have a bit of re-writing to do...thus the late post.
I'd like to introduce you to someone who has become very special in my life. I already told you that Google failed to answer what her title is...and biological father's wife is kind of stilting, not to mention somehow unflattering.
I suppose I have four Mother figures in my life now:
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 15, 2011
Dear Haley,
Firstly, I want to start by telling you...welcome!
I'd like to introduce you to someone who has become very special in my life. I already told you that Google failed to answer what her title is...and biological father's wife is kind of stilting, not to mention somehow unflattering.
I suppose I have four Mother figures in my life now:
- My Real Mom - she's the most amazing mother, I love her dearly. No 'adoptive' mom qualifier needed here.
- Mom-in-Law - I'm so blessed to be able to call her Mom too, she is a fabulous mother-in-law. Seriously, they do exist!
- Biological Mother, Camille. What can I say, I'm happy to be on planet earth! I'm thankful for the life she chose to give me.
- Linda (Kevin's wife) She is, well... read for yourself:
Email to Haley, from Linda; March 15, 2011
Firstly, I want to start by telling you...welcome!
Secondly, I want to thank you for the e-mail that you sent to us. It was beautiful! I hope you won’t be too disappointed, but we won’t share it with the kids just yet. We will share it with them in a few days (maybe weeks?). Less than 48 hours ago they didn’t even know you existed. We want them to be settled with the information first and then I will pass your e-mail on to them. (...)
Now for me...since Kevin told me that you had contacted him, I have experienced every emotion possible...fear, joy, anxiety, apprehension, relief, excitement, and even resentment. Emotions are emotions and I don’t want to become too caught up in them. It’s our “will” to do the right thing; the Godly thing. All that matters to me is that I do God’s Will and it is quite obvious to me that God’s Will is that we accept you and Nick into our lives! So I have and I will, without reservation!
Thirdly, faith is very important to me too! Imagine my initial relief when I saw you sign your e-mails with “Blessings”. I also suspected that you were a Christian when I discovered that you married so young. (I’m quite sure that only souls concerned about chastity do so in this day and age! ) The children and I have a strong faith in God. We have home-schooled them since the beginning so it has been easy to instill Christian morals and ideals. They certainly are not perfect (nor am I!) but they are pretty good kids. I think you will care for them a great deal over time.
Finally, I will talk face to face (kind of) to you on Saturday (if that works for you?) with Kevin. I truly look forward to getting to know you better. You sound like an amazing young lady and I am sure your parents are so proud of you! You’ll love meeting the entire extended family too and they are sure to share that love meeting you.
Now for me...since Kevin told me that you had contacted him, I have experienced every emotion possible...fear, joy, anxiety, apprehension, relief, excitement, and even resentment. Emotions are emotions and I don’t want to become too caught up in them. It’s our “will” to do the right thing; the Godly thing. All that matters to me is that I do God’s Will and it is quite obvious to me that God’s Will is that we accept you and Nick into our lives! So I have and I will, without reservation!
Thirdly, faith is very important to me too! Imagine my initial relief when I saw you sign your e-mails with “Blessings”. I also suspected that you were a Christian when I discovered that you married so young. (I’m quite sure that only souls concerned about chastity do so in this day and age! ) The children and I have a strong faith in God. We have home-schooled them since the beginning so it has been easy to instill Christian morals and ideals. They certainly are not perfect (nor am I!) but they are pretty good kids. I think you will care for them a great deal over time.
Finally, I will talk face to face (kind of) to you on Saturday (if that works for you?) with Kevin. I truly look forward to getting to know you better. You sound like an amazing young lady and I am sure your parents are so proud of you! You’ll love meeting the entire extended family too and they are sure to share that love meeting you.
Bye for now.
In Christ,
Linda
-----
I was afraid Linda would reject me. That she would discount my presence, as I am not her child. Perhaps somehow she would prevent Kevin from contacting me so her family could maintain the status quo.
The tears of relief that were shed reading this email! I can't express how grateful I am. She is welcoming, gracious, candid...and even includes my parents. She's a Christian! Could God have made this any better? I don't think so. It's so good.
I reached the end of Linda's email and I knew I could love her.
In Christ,
Linda
-----
I was afraid Linda would reject me. That she would discount my presence, as I am not her child. Perhaps somehow she would prevent Kevin from contacting me so her family could maintain the status quo.
The tears of relief that were shed reading this email! I can't express how grateful I am. She is welcoming, gracious, candid...and even includes my parents. She's a Christian! Could God have made this any better? I don't think so. It's so good.
I reached the end of Linda's email and I knew I could love her.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
A Big Sister
Email to my new family, from Haley; Subject: "A Big Sister"; March 14, 2011
Daniel- It must be great to be an older brother. I know you've got some serious responsibilities on your shoulders. Soon you'll have to fend off future suitors for not just one but two sisters. You get to be the 'man' of the house when your Dad's away. And you have two sisters who may have ganged up on you to force you to play house or let them cut your hair...I'm sorry that I don't balance out the boys side for you :) But at least you don't have to screen my boyfriends, I'm already married! Seriously though, what a great honour I'll have if you allow me the privilege of being your big sister. I always wanted a brother to show me how to do some boy stuff like playing video games or someone to play catch with. I also need someone who can recommend some great books...I go through a couple most weeks! I hope you can help me out with some of that!
Amy and Sarah - I saw your pictures and you are both so beautiful! I am so excited to have sisters! If you're ok with me joining your family as your big sister, I think we may have some great late-night chats, spa dates, watch Anne of Green Gables with giant boxes of kleenex and maybe you're past the barbie stage...but I still have a box of barbies that haven't seen sisters play together yet.
I'm so looking forward to meeting you all and discovering what you actually like to do instead of guessing!
With great expectations,
Haley
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Yes, I knew when you were born...
Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 14, 2011
Hi Haley,
Yes, I knew when you were born, and that you were a girl, we can talk more of those details and history face to face sometime.
Lets line up a skype (correct terminology?) for Saturday afternoon at 4:00 pst? Linda is away until mid afternoon Saturday. Is 5:00 okay for you, or too close to dinner?
I'm totally ok if you want to write something to the rest of the family, I'll cc our home address. Feel free, she's looking forward to it!
My FB picture was when I was about 13, I put it there because I think FB is more for kids, I have a quirky sense of humour...
(...)
Kevin
-----
Sometimes it's like God can read my mind, that He knows my prayers before I pray them. "the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will" ~Romans 8:26a-27
When He knows I cannot take one more moment of fear, that I'll fall into despair, I receive something to look forward to. Skype! I'm thrilled. Who cares what time dinner is; I will fast for the day to get a Skype call. And I can email Linda and my brother and sisters! I don't even know if they know about me yet...but I'm still going to write to them. What on earth would you write to siblings that didn't know you existed?
And he knew I was a girl. "The Putative Father was aware of the pregnancy but not of the birth" (From my adoption records). I suppose news travels...
Hi Haley,
Yes, I knew when you were born, and that you were a girl, we can talk more of those details and history face to face sometime.
Lets line up a skype (correct terminology?) for Saturday afternoon at 4:00 pst? Linda is away until mid afternoon Saturday. Is 5:00 okay for you, or too close to dinner?
I'm totally ok if you want to write something to the rest of the family, I'll cc our home address. Feel free, she's looking forward to it!
My FB picture was when I was about 13, I put it there because I think FB is more for kids, I have a quirky sense of humour...
(...)
Kevin
-----
Sometimes it's like God can read my mind, that He knows my prayers before I pray them. "the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will" ~Romans 8:26a-27
When He knows I cannot take one more moment of fear, that I'll fall into despair, I receive something to look forward to. Skype! I'm thrilled. Who cares what time dinner is; I will fast for the day to get a Skype call. And I can email Linda and my brother and sisters! I don't even know if they know about me yet...but I'm still going to write to them. What on earth would you write to siblings that didn't know you existed?
And he knew I was a girl. "The Putative Father was aware of the pregnancy but not of the birth" (From my adoption records). I suppose news travels...
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