Daniel, Part Two

Email to Daniel, from Haley; March 16, 2011

Hi Daniel!

No it's not every day you find a new family member is it?!? And I found 5! Have you told anyone else yet? Everyone I've shared with has been very excited for all of us.

You have my permission to grill my husband Nick a bit if you need some practice screening boyfriends, except for the part about being in the garage...that's just a bit too scary for me :)

I do love to read! I used to read 5 books a week when I was about your age, now I read less, but still love it. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll have to see if I can find some of them!

I loved reading about your interests, thanks for sharing! God is #1 on my list too. I'm so thankful we have that in common. It took me until I was about 16 to really accept Him into my life, so I'm extremely happy that you've already done that. Do you have any favourite Bible verses or stories?

I used to read a lot of fantasy/sci fi too, but I haven't lately. I read a lot of non-fiction Christian books and also books about adoption. My favourite fiction authors are John Grisham and Jodi Picoult; I also read a lot of CS Lewis when I was younger.

I love music too! I listen to all sorts of music, but I especially love worship music. Matt Maher is awesome! I actually got to meet him; he has come to a conference in Edmonton that Nick and I both volunteer at. It's called Break Forth, and it's an awesome Christian event. Maybe sometime you guys can come up for it.

I'm not really "sporty" either, although I did promise Nick that I would play softball this summer...so I guess I'll still have to practice playing catch with him :) Do you like to watch any sports? I heard you had a special visit to see the grey cup! How was that?

I like being outside too. I used to be in army cadets and we did a lot of orienteering things like camping and target practice, don't tell Nick... but between you and me, I can start a fire faster (and in the rain!). Do you get badges in scouts? What kinds of things do you do at scouts? Your Dad told me you were on a trip with them last weekend. Sounds like fun!

I have seen a picture of your dog! He looks like a great furry friend. Have you seen a picture of mine? Her name is Lucy and she's kind of a princess dog. She doesn't like to go outside when it's cold or wet, but she does love walks! How old is your dog? Lucy is 5 but still acts like a puppy sometimes.

Thanks for your email! I look forward to meeting you 'face to face' on skype soon!

Blessings,
Haley
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The day I received the email from Daniel was monumental. I literally expected to come to the end of my life (many years from now...) never having experienced what it's like to have a brother. Yes I have three great brothers-in-law, but it's not the same. Nick has a strong bond with his siblings. And no matter how close I've become with them, it's different. I know I'm an 'in-law' and while I'm warmly accepted into the family, I'm an addition. It's most clear when we take family photos; There's always the one photo where the 'in-laws' step aside to let the original family have their photo taken. I realize I am floundering at trying to explain this, let me just say that if you're not living this, you won't understand.

Daniel

Reminder of what I wrote earlier to Daniel:

Daniel- It must be great to be an older brother. I know you've got some serious responsibilities on your shoulders. Soon you'll have to fend off future suitors for not just one but two sisters. You get to be the 'man' of the house when your Dad's away. And you have two sisters who may have ganged up on you to force you to play house or let them cut your hair...I'm sorry that I don't balance out the boys side for you :) But at least you don't have to screen my boyfriends, I'm already married! Seriously though, what a great honour I'll have if you allow me the privilege of being your big sister. I always wanted a brother to show me how to do some boy stuff like playing video games or someone to play catch with. I also need someone who can recommend some great books...I go through a couple most weeks! I hope you can help me out with some of that!

Email to Haley, from Daniel; March 16, 2011

Hey Haley!!

I’m SSSOOO excited to have you as an older sister!!! I can’t wait to meet you in person!! This whole thing is really exciting for me, I mean it’s not every day you have a new sister!!

Yeah being an older brother is awesome....most of the time :P (...)

Dad and I have always joked that when the girls are older and a boyfriend comes to take them on a date we’ll be in the garage like in that song.....oh what’s it called..? hhmmm....and I’ll be sharpening my knife and he’ll be sharpening his axe and we’ll screen the boy first :P. Dad mentioned that you like to read...thats something we have in common...well You might like this series of books ‘Dragons in our Midst’ by Bryan Davis... They tie in with another series called ‘Oracles of Fire’ and they are both great Christian fantasy series (by the day read Dragons in our Midst first).

Well I guess I should probably tell you about myself because I’m guessing I won’t have much time when we have our video call on Saturday or when we meet. So... I have a few passions which are: God and my faith, reading, and music (classic rock mostly). Some of my favourite books are: the Inheritance Cycle, Sherlock Holmes, Dragons in our Midst, Oracles of Fire, Lord of the Rings, and a few others. Then some of my favourite bands are: U2, Rush, The Who, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Boston, The Beatles, The Police, Matt Maher, and Bon Jovi. I’m not a very sportsy person I prefer to read or play videogames (which I don’t do a whole lot because I am only allowed 40 minutes/day. I really love to be outdoors though. I am in scouts and I love camping and hiking! I also like walking the dog (did you know we have a dog? He’s awesome! 

Well I’m not quite sure about what else to tell you so help me out by asking questions!!!

(feels so weird to be saying this) Your Brother,

Daniel

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Ok, my heart totally melted. I love him already! What a charmer :)  "It's not every day you have a new sister!!" No it's not!

I love the signature..."Your Brother,"

This is what joy feels like!

Finding the best camping spot

Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 12, 2011

Hi Haley,

Great to hear about your parents, they sound like terrific people, you're very lucky! Lucy sounds pretty lucky too; dogs are great and our kids really love Danny, but it may be Linda and I that spoil him the most.

I bet it's great to work four of five days, I'm all for a long weekend every weekend. Are you and Nick campers at all? If so, you would get the best spots at every campground every week! We do an annual camping trip to the rockies with my in-laws every year, it's really great because when I was younger our annual vacation was in Jasper so I really love that area. (...)

Have a great weekend Haley!

Kevin

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Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 12, 2011

We love camping! We try and go a few times a year, even if it's just for a weekend close by with friends.

I was finally able to connect with my parents last night. My Dad was very excited and wanted to hear all about you; my Mom was surprised but happy too. They encouraged me to pursue a relationship with all of you and they look forward to learning more about you too. I'm very relieved, as that was my last big anxiety-causing item in this whole situation.

Last night we had a bunch of friends over for a house concert. Have you heard of those before? Our friend Calvin is an excellent performer and he sang for the evening. It was awesome! We love hosting our family and friends. It's one of my favourite things to do.

So we are going to have a pretty quiet weekend now, that concert was our only big activity. Just lots of laundry and maybe going to the gym. Nick is training for a 10k and I'm training for a 5k. My first run!

Hope you all have a nice weekend too! I hear it's a lot warmer there...I think we're -17 at the moment.

Blessings,
Haley

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Telling my parents was such a relief. I'm so thankful it went as well as it did. At least last time I had told them in advance of my search, so it wasn't a huge surprise. This one was a bit out of nowhere. I'm really blessed to have them.

I'm also fortunate to have a great support system walking alongside me during this time. My husband has been very supportive, and mostly just listens to me talk and talk about it (seemingly endlessly...). He has the patience of a saint. The small group we're a part of has been praying for us as well, and I know that that has had a huge impact on safeguarding everyone involved. 

I am not a cat person

Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 11, 2011

I think Wednesday is usually my busiest day in the office because we’re at full staff and everyone always has loads of questions for me… but Friday is my day to clean up and finish up everything for the week and I can often get a couple normal days worth of work done as there’s hardly anyone around. Last year I only worked 0.9 (a day off every other week), and this year I dropped my hours to 0.8. I got really quick at everything I needed to do, and there just wasn’t enough to keep me busy. I love working Tuesday – Friday. Long weekend every week! Nick likes it too, because he doesn’t have to come with me to Costco now :)

Sometimes I bring Lucy to work with me. She loves it. She loves licking everyone she meets…but then gets tired and just sleeps in my office the rest of the day. I think my co-workers like having her around. She’s definitely ‘my’ dog. The summer we got her I was looking for a job and so bonded with her 24-7 for the first few weeks.

We always had a dog when I was growing up. We started with Blue, the blue-heeler. My parents rescued her from a ditch as a puppy, and she was very old, blind and grumpy when I came along. I think she died when I was 5 or 6. Then we got Barney, he was a terrier-poodle cross. He was my Mom’s dog, no doubt. I just always loved having dogs around. (I am not a cat person – my Grandma had cats, and I always disliked them. They were never friendly enough for me!)

My parents are awesome. They make an effort to visit us often, they did even when they weren’t retired. They are pretty active volunteers. My Dad runs a community policing branch of the RCMP, does hosting at the airport, and they both work with the ‘adopt a senior’ program from their church. They drive them to medical appointments and help do handy-man things around the house. I thought retiring would give them a rest, but they haven’t really slowed down. They were elementary school teachers. My Dad taught grade 6, and then grade 5. My Mom taught part-time, first kindergarten then grade 1. I therefore excelled in school; hard not to when you’re surrounded by teachers (all their friends were teachers too!). I often had people say, “Are you going to be a teacher when you grow up?” and I adamantly said “no way!” Even though I do have a bit of ‘teacher’ gene in me, I never really wanted to be in a room full of kids for extended periods of time.

I do want my parent’s blessing before I say anything more, but I certainly want to get to know you all! Even though I have been so blessed to have even these short little emails back and forth…I do want more. I’d love to try Skype and a real visit sometime too.

Blessings, Haley
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I think I finally got to the point where I'm ok with sharing more about my life. I can sense that apprehension lifting off, and I'm just feeling like I'm getting to know someone. It's a good place to be.

I still haven't been able to share with my parents! It's driving me crazy! Soon, soon, I know. It's not for lack of trying, I might add.

I really want to meet Kevin in person, even if it's just on Skype. Email can only tide anyone over for so long. It is no substitute for real life interaction, and I'm saying that as a social media junkie!

The First Pictures

I sent my photos on Monday night and then I received the first photos from Kevin on Tuesday morning, while at work.

Hotmail does this thing where the photos are at the top of the email, in a preview mode, and then the email message is below. So I just opened the photos without reading the message.

The first photo was of my three siblings and, is that Kevin? Wow, if I'm being honest here, he looks really old for 45. But he looks very familiar...no wait, that's Stuart McLean. Embarrassing mistake! Even if it was just in my head! I think I need to read the email message before I continue looking at these photos.

Hi Haley,

Here are a few photos of us, the first one is of Daniel, Amy, & Sarah with Stuart McLean of the Vinyl Café (CBC) when we got hauled up on stage. The next two are of my wife Linda and daughter Amy at a Christmas light show, then Dan & myself at same show. Wouldn’t be right if we didn’t have a photo of the dog in there…his name is Danny.

Kevin

OK, I'll admit that I cried when I looked through the photos, but that's just between you and I. What a beautiful family. They look so friendly! Oh, the dog is adorable. I love dogs, and this one looks like a keeper. I quickly call the ladies I work with in to see the pictures. I'm pretty sure there are no dry eyes in the place.

This makes it feel more real. Up to now it's just been a few short words back and forth, meaningful yes, but just words. To see Kevin's face, to see my siblings, to see Linda...it's overwhelming. I am completely ruined for the rest of the day. This starts a horrible decline in my efficiency.

Lucy's Bad Teeth

I’m a bad dog-mother. I don’t brush my dog’s teeth like I’m supposed to; apparently ‘they say’ it should be done every day. Seriously, who does that? What convenient timing to have to drive my dog Lucy to the vet for a teeth cleaning while I’m waiting for an answer to “Does your wife know about me?” Now I’m thinking I should probably start brushing Lucy’s teeth every day. Especially so this doesn’t happen again at another crucial moment in a Facebook messaging flurry.

I have a new message, but I have to get Lucy in because I know if it’s not the answer I’m hoping for I may look teary-eyed like an extremely over-protective dog-parent who thinks her dog may keel over dead from having a teeth cleaning.

Lucy’s in. I quickly run back to the car, message is still waiting for me.

Message, to Haley from Kevin “Yes, she and I met in grade eight and were friends for many years prior to dating in our early twenties. I told her about your note to me a few days ago, and she is very positive, she has known since Camille and I were together.” 

Thank you Jesus! Would it have been a deal-breaker if she hadn’t known? I’m not sure. But it wouldn’t have been ideal, to say the least. I wonder what she’s like.