Efficiency

Email to Kevin, from Haley; March 11, 2011

Good Morning,

I'm a mix of joy and anxiety! I'm so happy to have found you and your family; I love reading the emails and often check my phone multiple times to re-read and impatiently wait for the next message. But I still haven't been able to tell my parents. I think they're out of town for a few days. I'm not sure what their reaction will be.

Our intention right now is to build a relationship, it's "easier" to go slow when you're a province away. Only easier because of distance restrictions. Once I saw the pics of your kids my heart skipped a beat. I'm sad that I've missed this long without even knowing they existed. When I hear they're just like me and can read 3-4 books in a week, I want to fly there and curl up with them and read them all my childhood favourites.

I'm a mix of emotions, because my heart's desire is to know you and your family, but I would NEVER want to hurt your kids, wreck a fresh relationship or disappoint them. Somehow the hurts that happen in childhood are so much more impactful and far-reaching than the adult stuff. Use your fatherly discretion and tread carefully as you and Linda decide. I will respect your decision.

I hope you have a great day; I've never been less productive at work than the last week. Hopefully I can get some stuff done today! Especially since you're all about efficiency!

Blessings,
Haley

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Email to Haley, from Kevin; March 11, 2011

Hi - you found me at Starbucks again!

You just wrote what I've been thinking, thanks for that. Productivity has been off the charts (cliff?) for me too... 

Its ok to be sad about what you may have missed, me too, but its kind of wasteful, I'm mostly working at a sense of relief and happiness that we're starting from here. :) 

I might not have been clear enough, there's no need to respect our decision, because where we go from here is really your and Nick's decision. If you would like to get to know us better and fold yourself into our family (whatever that looks like will be figured out over time...) then we are all for it. We welcome the opportunity! 

I don't want to presume anything Haley, and one thing to consider with your parents is that we do not want to be an 'instead of', we would want to be an 'add on'. Your parents are your parents, irreplaceable. I'm thinking you already know that, I just want to say it so you know where we stand. 

Have a great day yourself, and get to work! 

Kevin

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I laughed at being told to get to work...I smiled about the sensitivity towards my parents...I melted at "If you would like to get to know us better and fold yourself into our family...then we are all for it."

This is a major turning point for me. I'm still apprehensive, but that is rapidly shrinking. What kind of person can extend acceptance and open arms, while still being so diplomatic and considerate of my parents' role? I can't wait to get to know him better.